Here’s an idea:
Ask him for help. When you call him, put aside the illness as if it doesn’t exist for a moment, and ask him for some advice. Think of his area of expertise and ability and tell him you need his assistance. He is a chef and you are having trouble with a recipe. Ask for his help. This will hold more weight than just telling him "you matter and you are needed", it will be actually making him needed. Now clearly we are dealing here with some serious health issues. They will not disappear with one little conversation. It’s possible it won’t work at all. He may not even be interested to being asked, or incapable of responding. But if you have even the slightest hope of getting through to him, it is worth a try. It might give him a moment of not being entrapped in his own issues. If he can focus on someone else for even a short time, that may serve as a little breath of air, and he may be lifted, if simply momentarily, above his darkness. Sometimes the trap of depression or sickness is the self-absorption it brings. The best remedy for that is serving others. Grant him a chance to do that. If nothing else, you will have expressed to him that whatever he is living through, he can still contribute to the world, and you care about him enough to ask. That could be just what he needs to hear. May he/she have good news! Rabbi Mendel Bluming, Maryland and Rabbi Moss, Australia
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AuthorRabbi Mendel Bluming also dedicated six years to serving on the board of directors of the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, where he received the Matthew H. Simon Rabbinical Award for exceptional communal leadership. Archives
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