People are given free choice. A person can marry Mr Wrong, or divorce Mr Right. We have to own up to the responsibility for choosing a partner, even if things didn't work out.
And yet, if a marriage ends in divorce, that is not to say that it was not meant to be in the first place. Side-on-side with the belief in free choice, we also believe that whatever has happened in the past was destined to happen. And so you married the person you were predestined to marry. It was meant to be. And in retrospect it was predestined to end. This is the paradox of faith: What I am about to do is a choice of mine. Once I have acted, it was meant to be. I am responsible for my actions. I prepared the bed, and I have to sleep in it. But now that I did, I couldn't have slept in any other place. As painful as it may have been, a persons divorce was a part of your soul mission. We can only guess why. It is possible the ill-fated marriage was a correction for something in a past life. It could be due to a soulmate from your previous incarnation that you didn't marry the first time around, as well as a soulmate from your present incarnation, and so you have to marry both. Perhaps you needed to bring a fetus into the world who otherwise would not have been born. Or perhaps it was a crucial step in your path of learning, bringing you closer to your true self, and your true soulmate. Who knows? Divorce is not something taken lightly. It is a heartbreaking last resort when all attempts to heal a toxic marriage have failed. And sometimes it isn't up to you. But if it has materialized, you have to trust that this is your soul's path. May G-d give you the strength and perception to navigate the next step on that path... Menachem Mendel Bluming and Rabbi Moss
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AuthorRabbi Mendel Bluming also dedicated six years to serving on the board of directors of the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, where he received the Matthew H. Simon Rabbinical Award for exceptional communal leadership. Archives
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